


Raine, Raine, Go Away

by nicefinalbeam (sparkleboom)



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Circus, Fantasy, Humor, M/M, Unicorns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-05
Updated: 2011-07-05
Packaged: 2018-09-10 22:05:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8941234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sparkleboom/pseuds/nicefinalbeam
Summary: Nino needs a unicorn. Jun needs a job.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written for [](http://clipsie.livejournal.com/profile)[**clipsie**](http://clipsie.livejournal.com/) @ [](http://ninoexchange.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://ninoexchange.livejournal.com/)**ninoexchange**.

Nino would agree it was a prank gone too far if he'd meant it as a prank at all. His reputation had, for once, doomed him to the consequences of an honest mistake. What had meant profit in the past meant his undoing now.

"You're the _ringmaster_. You have to get out there before we're ruined!"

Another one of Sho's reprimanding cries sounded, but Nino stood still in shock. At first he'd assumed he'd taken the wallet of the wrong creature, probably a water nymph (contrary to their name, they could be fiery folk), but most of the magical realm knew by now that pranks were his thing, part of the act. Everyone got their money back in the end, at least what wasn't due for the show.

But this? He hadn't known that something like _this_ would happen, and if he'd had even an inkling that it could, he wouldn't have been stupid enough to advertise that he had something no other circus had. He didn't have anything special now, apparently.

" _Nino_ ," Sho screeched, as if the tent was about to fall down around them, which wasn't far from possible at this point. Nino felt the hands at his back, eerily gentle as they pushed him forward toward the crowd. No time to consider his options now. Events were in motion, or so he realized as he flipped his top hat up and onto his head, taking his place at center ring.

A boo here and there was part of the territory, even a chorus of them if the big cats were tired and Aiba failed to make them seem interesting, but he'd never heard such a wave of discontent before. It made his stomach churn.

There was nothing worse than being unpopular with an audience.

"We have all been deceived," Nino spoke quietly, fists clenching at his sides before he shouted, "WE HAVE _ALL_ BEEN DECEIVED."

Playing up the drama of it all could work against him, but it could also make it seem as if this was part of the show. The fake unicorn would still be a great disappointment for the audience, but perhaps something they'd grumble about instead of tearing the place apart over. He didn't care about losing his tent, but he _did_ care about the safety of his performers.

"An impostor in our midst! We wouldn't be fooled for long," Nino continued with a smirk, "Our circus is full of tricks, but _no one_ tests Nino the Great!"

He lifted his hands in the signal for fire, relieved when the ring around him burst into flame and some of the audience gasped. Usually he reserved that effect for his magic show, but he doubted he'd reach that portion of the program tonight.

Slowly, very slowly, Nino began to win back his crowd. Those who were still outraged began to file through the exits, but Nino wouldn't concern himself with them. A few bad reviews might circulate, but at least there'd be talk. All he had to do was make the unicorn, or rather - the horse, disappear and he could turn this performance around. Right?

"You're fired," he hissed as he reached the handler, still holding the broken horn in his hand, " _Get out_."

With a swish of his cape and enough smoke to hide an elephant, Nino bought his staff some time to remove the horse and former employee without being seen.

It was over.

 

 

"You did your best, Nino."

Aiba flashed him a sympathetic smile as he dropped some fresh fish into Ohno's tank. Nino nearly snapped at him, yelled at him for even suggesting he'd tried his hardest when he'd clearly _failed_. Not just failed, but had been the cause of this whole scandal. He'd wanted a unicorn for the act _so_ badly that he'd just hired the first scumbag to come along claiming he had one.

But he knew that Aiba loved animals, and had loved what he'd thought was that unicorn, and he was probably more disappointed than anyone that it wasn't real.

"You know, we could always get one of those bears in a tutu you always talk about, right?" Nino joked.

As if bears in tutus could even compare to a unicorn. He wasn't amused, wasn't even sure there would be a circus to add bears to by the time the hit they next town in the realm, but they had to keep going.

"The Sho must go on!" Aiba joked back, "We'll give him a clown nose. I'd pay to see a fairy prince in a clown nose."

So would Nino, really.

"Make sure Oh-chan comes up for air soon," he requested, waving at the merman. Sometimes Nino had nightmares that his friend would forget and then he'd _really_ be sleeping with the fishes.

"I've got a circus to save."

 

 

 

There was absolutely nothing magical about unicorn snot.

In fact, it had been the downfall of the species. One small virus and several thousand sneezes later, the drastically depleted unicorn population had returned to the magic realm. All the surviving unicorns save one, who stayed to keep magic present in the lives of humans.

Jun was not the handler of that unicorn. Jun's unicorn, Raine, had come to him on his first day away from home. He'd been sent to purchase elven wood in place of his father, who'd had a cold of his own at the time. Fate brought together two germ-avoiding beings in the middle of a winter forest. Music bonded them.

They'd not had much luck with employment when Jun set out on his own, which made it that much more difficult for them to find the money to travel, but being a unicorn handler did have _some_ perks. He usually found lodging and a meal for the evening, and once he'd even been given a free pair of enchanted jeans. They fit his legs like a glove, but they didn't come with a job.

He considered the flyer his saving grace.

 _Nino the Great's Traveling Circus_  
**Needed** : One Unicorn.

 

 

 

"I can hit higher notes, I just sound a bit... I'm not to everyone's taste," Jun explained, biting his lip out of nervous habit.

"But your unicorn likes it," Sho responded.

"If he didn't, he wouldn't stick with me. At least I don't think so, since no other animals seem to want my company," Jun explained, shrugging his shoulders and laughing nervously, "I thought I'd help him find him a mate so he could start a family or something, but now we've run away to the circus."

"Yeeeeah. That happens more than you'd think," Nino chuckled, giving his financial adviser a pointed look.

Sho cleared his throat, shuffled a few papers on his desk, then sighed. A man with the world on his sloping shoulders! Nino _did_ feel a bit bad for putting stress on him, but he was sticking to his opinion. And he wouldn't tell the story about Sho's accidental betrothal to a turtle (who was not a shape-shifter by the name of Kame, but was really a turtle) either, at least not before they'd had a few drinks.

He had voiced _several_ objections to hiring someone new over the past few months. He didn't think unicorns could be trusted, didn't think most humans could be trusted, he didn't think the bright pink color Sho had chosen for the flyer was right, and he'd even tried to convince Sho that they didn't have the revenue to pay another performer. But Sho had crunched the numbers, and even docked a bit of his own salary, and if they had Jun to help them generate more funds? They'd be set for a good long while.

Reason was against him.

"Here's the thing," Sho began and didn't continue right away. Not much good came from a 'here's the thing', but this was an exception. It was an exception with some conditions. "I'm willing to offer you the position here, but our ringmaster..."

"Nino the Great," Nino introduced himself with a wave, "He's going to tell you about how I don't want you here."

"Didn't you just tell me yourself?" Jun pointed out immediately, tilting his head in curiosity.

Well, yes. Technically Nino had just told him that, but it didn't change the fact that Sho had been about to tell him that. And if Nino was going to get into the details of his opposition, part of it would involve eyebrows and frightening children, so it was better that he not be the one to deliver that news.

"So," Sho smiled nervously, looking back and forth between the two of them, "When can you start?"

 

 

 

Jun's approach to his performance was starting to trouble Nino. It was one thing to put on an over the top outfit, that was fairly normal in the circus world. But did he really have to sing a song? Every time?

They'd never tried using music to such a large extent before. Certain things would play to set the mood as Ohno did a backflip or Aiba fought off a roaring lion, but singing and dancing? This was a _circus_ , not a siren show choir. Nino had _wanted_ a siren show choir in the program, actually, but Sho had told him it would force them to change the 'family friendly' marketing they did. Unfortunate.

"No one wants to hear you sing, but since you seem to think it's necessary, we have no choice," Nino finally expressed his concern (only four nights into Jun's employment, but that was patience enough).

"You don't have a choice. Raine won't listen to commands unless I sing first."

Jun might have thought he was making a good case for himself, but all he did was give Nino more ideas. Like putting Jun in a clown costume, setting him afloat in Ohno's tank, and having him sing 'row your boat' for the crowd. That could work! Or better yet?

"I could fire you."

"You could," Jun agreed.

Nino was surprised Jun didn't scoff at him, didn't throw a tantrum like some performers would, didn't even flinch at Nino's comment about his singing or possibly being fired. He seemed to seriously consider what Nino was saying, crossing his arms over his chest. After a moment Jun shrugged his shoulders, but not to signal he was giving up.

Instead he said, "They aren't paying for my singing _now_ , but they don't seem to hate it either. If I never improve, if you start getting complaints, then you'll have every right to ask me to leave."

Nino had witnessed Raine's response to Jun's voice, and knew that Jun wasn't just trying to steal the spotlight for himself, even if he argued the opposite to Sho only an hour ago. He wouldn't even say he disliked Jun's singing, because when the man got it right? He _really_ got it right.

"Fine," Nino sighed, rubbing the sides of his face in defeat. There was no use in harping on the subject when he knew he wasn't going to take action. "Just... do the WISH one, okay?"

It was already Aiba's favorite. So Nino had been told.

A hundred times.

"I will," Jun promised.

 

 

Nino had really thought he'd have some good excuse for getting rid of Jun before the month was out, but more than a month had passed since Jun had joined them and nothing earth shattering had occurred. Raine hadn't turned out to be a donkey with a birth defect (a second penis that was always erect had been Ohno's theory, but it didn't withstand the test he'd done that no one wanted to hear about, Jun especially). Jun wasn't secretly a warlock with a grudge against forest nymphs, so Aiba wasn't in danger (just bothered Jun at every opportunity and had once even asked for an autograph).

Even Sho had taken a liking to the unicorn and his handler, and Sho could be pretty sensitive. Nino pushed his buttons all the time!

The only conclusion Nino could draw was that Jun was planning a mutiny. After all, the girls in the audience screamed for him in a way they'd never screamed for Nino before. He could easily become the ringmaster.

"I want to like him," Nino admitted, running a hand through his hair, "I have fun guessing what his next costume will look like, at least. I won five silver coins from Toma for guessing that feathers would come into play last night."

He flashed Raine a victory sign, but the unicorn didn't seem to be interested. Nino had a sneaking suspicion he'd play the same game if he could speak, and he'd probably clean up every time, but that wasn't the point.

"It must be hard for you," Nino mused, his fingers lightly brushing against Raine's side, "Don't the sequins dig into your skin?"

"Not more than they dig into mine."

Nino snorted at that, glancing up at Jun and nodding politely. He'd hoped he wouldn't be caught getting cozy with the enemy, but it was to be expected. Jun didn't spend much time apart from Raine, so far as Nino could tell.

"Easily fixed. You could do your performance naked!"

He'd not guessed that one in his betting before, too risky, but he didn't mind the sound of it. He was disturbed that he didn't mind the sound of it. Very much disturbed.

"How about in a nipple exposing t-shirt?" Jun suggested, wiggling his eyebrows.

Nino couldn't stop himself from laughing, covering his mouth with his hand. That was specifically reserved for punishment after mess ups, and only ever during rehearsals. Even Nino wasn't safe from nipple exposure. Which was probably why he tried to blame his mistakes on everyone else first, but no one ever took it personally.

Not even Jun, come to think of it, and he had it the worst.

"So what should I be anticipating? Laxatives in Raine's water? Ink on my glasses? A rubber snake in my bed?" Jun asked as he leaned against one of the posts holding up the tent around them.

He'd probably heard stories of Nino's pranks from the others and wondered when it would be his turn. But Nino had been so busy worrying about what Jun's motives were, he'd not planned anything yet.

"I got Oh-chan to draw a picture of you being manhandled by one of the tutu bears," Nino informed him with a smirk, "We're getting posters printed up."

"At least you didn't assign the task to Sho," Jun said.

He made an excellent point, even if Nino had been lying. If he'd let Sho anywhere near that idea, he'd have ended up with a stick figure and a blob. With lightning. And some misplaced moles.

Nino stretched his arms over his head and began to head out, stopping briefly when he reached Jun's side.

"I'll be going now," he announced with a sheepish grin, which faded somewhat when Jun reached out and took hold of his wrist.

"Aren't we going to have a meaningful conversation now? I tell you my life story, you tell me why you don't like me much, I find out about your troubled past and then... I don't know, we work together to achieve a common goal?"

"Why would we do that?"

"Because you came to my tent."

Nino had come to his tent, but he'd been looking for the unicorn! Obviously. Because what reason could he have for bumping into Jun so late at night? There was absolutely no reason for that whatsoever, least of all a heart to heart.

"Oh for fuck's sake," he groaned, yanking his wrist free, "We'll invest in a better platform for the dancers. Happy now?"

"Very much so," Jun responded, laughing loudly as Nino began to storm away. Which really sort of ruined the atmosphere of rage Nino had been attempting to create. Jun's ideas might have been good ones overall, but he couldn't possibly indulge him every time. Sho would cry at extending the budget. Ohno would weep if he had to cut back on fish!

"But I have one more idea I think you should consider."

Nino ignored him, breaking into a run, but Jun was apparently not above shouting.

"OPEN THE SHOW NAKED! JUST WITH THE TOP HAT ON!"

Definitely _not_ family friendly.

 

 

Murphy's Law suggested that anything that could go wrong, would go wrong, and Nino had experienced that enough. But now he was fairly certain there was such a thing as a Matsumoto law.

It went something like -- Anything that can go right, will go right, until your unicorn gets picked to watch over humanity -- and for once? Nino _hated_ being right. If there was anything you wouldn't want to be right about, it had to be impending doom.

At least if you were powerless to stop it.

"It's not like he sent in an application for this," Sho reminded, watching as Nino sulked by Ohno's tank, his fingers lightly skimming the surface of the water. Occasionally Ohno would come up and let Nino twist his nipple, because apparently it made him feel better, and he never used enough force for it to hurt much. Ohno always exaggerated his pained face and it made Nino smile.

Unicorn or no, he still had the best circus.

"The last unicorn passed away! That's not Jun's fault," Aiba spoke, also jumping to Jun's defense.

Nino could appreciate that they were trying to make it seem like it was fate's design, some freak happening that no one would ever see coming, but that didn't mean he had to just sit back and accept it.

Wasn't he allowed to be upset? He'd finally dropped the wall he'd put up between them, and was getting used to Jun's company. He'd stopped giving half his food to Aiba when he wanted to escape dinner in Jun's presence faster. He'd started to hum Jun's music in the shower! And though he really hated giving up control of any sort, he'd taken Jun's suggestions for the circus on board and the results had been nothing but positive.

Well, mostly. There had been one off night involving a lasso and some ass-less chaps, but that was the costume department's error. The costume department consisting of himself, Ohno, and Aiba and too many shots of tequila.

But it wasn't just that Jun was leaving the circus. He was removing himself from the magic realm entirely. He wasn't the only one who was affected by this, so why did they have to make him seem so unreasonable about it?

"Could I have a minute with Nino?" Jun asked as he approached the group.

Nino almost objected to the idea himself, if only because he felt too lazy to move from his spot and moving Ohno would be harder, but he didn't want to waste his final moment with Jun. Even if he'd really meant to make the man his arch nemesis, and now it was all Jun's fault he was back to saving his circus again.

"I don't have anything to say to you," Nino lied.

"Well," Jun responded, calmly scratching the side of his face, "I guess that'll make this quick then."

Nino sort of liked Jun's sense of humor, even when he was being a bit of a bastard. Probably because he could be a bit of an ass himself, and he knew better than anyone that it came from a place of deep affection.

Or at least it ran deep. It was pretty thinly veiled with them. Jun gave out more hugs than any real unpleasant person would ever feel comfortable with.

"I don't want to give you a cheesy goodbye," Jun explained, stopping when they'd likely made it out of earshot, "But I thought I should open up a window for a kiss, in case that was coming."

"That's good of you," Nino complimented, nodding his head solemnly, "We should give Raine and Oh-chan some time alone."

Jun laughed, but there was a dim light to his eyes. Nino knew why Jun was reluctant to leave. Running away with a circus sounded like a one-chapter adventure to some, but when you found Nino the Great's Traveling Circus?

You temporarily lost your wallet.

"Good luck with everything," Jun held out his hand, and Nino didn't hesitate. He gave it a firm shake, and followed it with a friendly pat to Jun's shoulder.

"You never know," Nino spoke.

But he left it at that. Because that was probably true enough.

 

 

Jun got to keep the enchanted pair of jeans.

That was probably his sole comfort in what was otherwise a frustrating situation. You couldn't find a family for your unicorn if he was the only one in existence, not that it had been much easier in the magic realm. Now Jun had no other option but to get them some work, because sitting around in a forest all day wasn't really his picture of the ideal lifestyle.

Traveling was nothing new, but no country's economy was all that great. He held on to the hope that the next town would have the answer, but with the community message board he was scanning now, it seemed unlikely. Two women were looking for a roommate, a man with a lawn service offered specials for fertilizer, and the local youth group was holding an ice cream social over the weekend, but no job postings. Jun was about to move on, continue his search another day, when he noticed something that made his heart jump. Beneath the other flyers, on bright yellow paper, he caught a glimpse of a familiar font. He grabbed the corner of the advertisement and tugged.

 _Nino the Great's Traveling Fantasy Circus_.  
**Needed** : One Jun.


End file.
